*digression* After taking up Bahasa Indo in NUS, i started to cultivate this habit of “actively” listening in on conversations in Malay or Bahasa Indo. My girlfriend says this habit of mine has become an obsession cause I rarely listen to her when Malays or Indonesians are talking.
So the conversation sort of proceeds like this in my weak translation.
Malay Male, in his 60s (MM), in no way am I referring to the great Minister Mentor.
Chinese Male, in his 40s (CM)
CM: In a rather commanding tone, shoulders pulled back and a posture that i feel is abit too straight. His position is too far from MM such that he had to raise his voice a little.
“Sesudah kerja anda selesai di sini, cuci toilet di lantai dua ar” - “After you finish your work here, clean the toilet at level 2”
MM: Head and body turning away from the CM, eyes closed and hands raised up making a sweeping movement.
“ Tak tahu, Tak tahu la” - “Don’t know, don’t know la”
The conversation ended with the MM walking away from the CM towards his store room. The CM walked away without much expression.
This incident shows quite a bit of tension between the both of them and the frustration of the CM not being able to do anything much about this incident is evident. To me, this incident can be dissected into 3 levels though not all are related to intercultural communication. First, a relationship between a supervisor and the worker. Second, is the issue of intercultural tension. Lastly, the issue of age difference.
First, looking at a supervisor and worker level, a worker must follow the instructions of his supervisor so that things can be done. By turning his back on him and making a sweeping movement with his hands shows a strong non-verbal reply to the supervisor. To me, the combination of his non-verbal gestures mean that he does not like the supervisor allocating such tasks to him. Also, the commanding tone, his posture and his distance away from the worker of the supervisor does not help at all.
Next, on the issue of intercultural relationship. From what I have gathered from talking to my Malay friends and Malay taxi drivers, they feel discriminated against by the Chinese. The general consensus is that they feel the average Chinese in Singapore, being more educated and rich, tend to look down on them. With regards to our conflict, I feel that the above statement is sort of a reflection of my previous statement. However, I cannot be sure of this since I am not involved neither do I know the personally. The CM with his condescending way of asking the MM to perform tasks represents a serous issue that has to be solved. This behavior of the Chinese population in Singapore I feel is not adequately addressed by government agencies. I am not implying that the campaigns to promote racial harmony in Singapore is not effective. Giving credits to our government, these campaigns are effective in that it has reduced racial conflicts to a bare minimum but the attitude that I have discussed is not targeted. Actually, through another module “Introduction to Japanese Studies”, I realised that this kind of less violent and more subtle form of racism is also present in Japan. Perhaps this is a recurring problem in Asia which has links to our culture and way of dealing with matters.
Lastly, less evident would be the tension of an elderly being ordered around by a younger person. In Asia or at least the Malay culture, an elderly person should be treated with respect. The younger CM, according to me, did not show much respect for the Malay elder. In my opinion, if the younger male were to get the elder male to do things, he should be more polite and use more courteous words like “please” or “thank you”.
I did not have the chance to talk to both parties and I suppose they would not want to talk about it. Also, I do not feel comfortable giving comments on this event as I do not know the full situation. I just feel that intercultural relationship rank tops on the sensitivity scale. To be able to treat such relationship properly, the least anyone can do is just be courteous even though you might not feel like it. Just be like our Courtesy Lion, always put on a smile!
7 comments:
Very informative post, Thomas, and perceptive analysis.
How might the CM have made a better impression and been more persuasive?
I find being polite is always useful when asking people to do things. It doesn't hurt (usually) and people like it. It is definitely a must-have skill in the office arena.
Thanks Weili. Being polite and adding a smile always makes the receiver more comfortable with your requests. But sadly its often lacking in a lot of companies that I worked part-time in. People just put on a dull face and asks another for things to be done.
Brad, I think that CM could have done something very simple. That is to treat the workers to a scrumptious breakfast every Friday morning. To me I feel this is a cheap but yet effective gesture to get his workers to like him better. By eating with them and talking about personal stuff, it will reduce the distance of him towards his workers. Haha, maybe i'm a glutton cause I think this way works best if I am in his position.
It occurs to me that a supervisor in hospitality sector likes to yell and to say nasty words over minor issues. I worked as waitress in banquet of a five-star hotel before. I was told to change side plates every round. However, another Malay supervisor scolded me for changing side plates too often. He even spluttered that he would kick my ass. I believe the case you narrated here is considered mild compared to what I have encountered. I advocate that their managing strategy is just too harsh and uncivilized. When there is a minor issue, they just scold you till they are satisfied. I believe service industry is similar to army. However, office is a heaven comparatively. Managers stress to lead people rather than to command people in a good organization.
If I were CM, I would chat with MM about his recent life and family, ask about difficulties he faced,or joke to lighten his heart before I delegate task to him.
Well Thomas, I would love to work under your supervision if you are going to treat your workers breakfast every Friday morning. :] But what if you have twenties and thirties of workers under you, you will be broke after a few months!!
I guess, as said by Carolyn, little chit-chats may help to minimize gaps. Or maybe changing to a softer tone when getting people to do things may help to reduce the tension. After all, the person may feel more respected even when he or she is being ordered to do something.
Hello Thomas, I strongly agree to your point that the younger generation now-a-days are getting more rude and impolite, especially towards the seniors. Probably as what you have mentioned, the government should bring back the courtesy campaigns that proved to be quite effective and efficient. This is an important element to maintain the racial-harmony status in Singapore.
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